We are Frank and Jaya from California

Dear Expectant Mother,

At this point, you may have read over dozens of profiles, or maybe we are your first. Where you are in this process, the decision you are making, and all the factors you are weighing must feel incredibly heavy. We want you to know we are here for you, not just now in this moment of decision making, but throughout and beyond the adoption process. Your story and your journey are still being written. This decision you are making and the fact that you’re even considering adoption is a reflection of your selfless love for your child. That’s nothing short of inspiring. We promise to honor this love and care you have for your child as a way to continue your legacy.

To us, the small moments matter the most in life. The big moments can be grand and extraordinary, such as going on a trip or achieving a milestone. But when we think back on our fondest memories it’s sometimes simple experiences such as the way our moms held us, how Frank hugs Jaya and tells her “I got you” when she’s overwhelmed, or the way Jaya looks at Frank sincerely in the eyes when she says “You are the most important thing.” We hope to share all of this and more with your child. We are not just promising to be there cheering on the big milestones and taking family vacations – we are also promising to be there for the everyday moments in life, whether they are joyful or hard. We think about the times when your child will face something challenging and heartbreaking in life. We will show up with kindness, compassion, and non-judgment by offering our wisdom, life experience, and listening deeply to what our child has to say. We will share our passion for nature, animals, growing our own food, cooking, music, and art with your child to inspire them to find the magic in life that brings them passion and joy as well. We will also bring stability and steadfastness to provide your child with a solid foundation for them to flourish.

What we love about our adoption journey so far is that this process has made us think so deeply about why we want to be parents and how we will approach this relationship. We started by asking whether we wanted to be parents in the first place, a privilege that is not always extended in all situations.  We realize that having a child is a way to grow our love, our family, and provide us with purpose in life. We both feel strongly that having a child who is biologically ours is not a prerequisite to having a deep, supportive love, as we both believe in chosen families and caring for our larger communities. But we want you to know we are also thinking about what our relationship with you will be. We think of you as part of our extended family. What that relationship might look like depends upon your needs and we are fully aware that these needs may change over time. What might be unique is that adoption is our first choice. Because this is our first choice, we have given this a lot of thought and consideration and we’re whole-heartedly excited.

To us, love is of primary importance for a deep and supportive relationship. What we can tell you, should you decide to honor us as parents of your child, is that we will love your child fiercely, unconditionally, and always.