Dear Expectant Mother,
We’d like to thank you for considering adoption for your baby. We can only imagine the difficult decisions you have to make. We hope that getting to know us a little bit better can make your decision a little easier.
We have been together for 18 years, and married for 17. We have survived job loss, the recession, and many years of infertility together. It has made our marriage strong. We cannot imagine going through all of that without each other’s support and love. That’s not to say that our lives are perfect. But we’ve learned how to communicate with one another and cope with difficulties in a way that shows respect and love for one another’s feelings.
For many years, we have longed for a child of our own. We’ve gone through the heartbreaking grief of infertility and decided we had to stop doing treatments. For us, having a child is so important. What’s no longer important is that a child is biologically related to us. Jeff can’t wait to be the involved parent who takes his child to sports activities, scouts, playing on the playground at parks, and camping. Melissa dreams of the days when she can have a child to read stories with, teach about gardening, and get involved in his or her school.
With our experiences in life, we are confident that we will come into our new roles in life with a lot of wisdom. We’ll also have a lot of patience. We both believe in letting a child be “free-range” to learn to make his or her own mistakes and become independent adults. Parents do need to watch their children and guide them. But as we watch our peers with their children, we have noticed that our parenting style would be more laid back. Children can act out sometimes, that’s what kids do as they are learning their boundaries and growing, but we will always teach them the importance of kindness of respect. Children need to know they are loved and their parents have expectations for them. Love and respect will be the highest values in our parenting, including love and respect for one’s own body.
We know this must be such an emotional time for you. We want your choice to be the best for all of us. Please know that whatever you choose, you have a team of supporters cheering you on.
Jeff and Melissa