Dear Expectant Mother,
We’d like to thank you for considering adoption for your baby. We can only imagine the difficult decisions you have to make. We hope that getting to know us a little bit better can make your decision a little easier.
My husband Jeff and I have been together for 14 years, married for 13. We have survived job loss, the recession and many years of infertility together. It has made our marriage strong. I cannot imagine going through all of that without my sweet husband by my side, holding my hand the whole way. That’s not to say that our lives are perfect. But we’ve learned how to communicate with one another and cope with difficulties in a way that shows respect and love for one another’s feelings.
For many years, we have longed for a child of our own. We’ve gone through the heartbreaking grief of infertility and decided we had to stop doing treatments. For us, having a child is so important. What’s no longer important is that the child be biologically related to us. Jeff badly wants to be the involved parent who takes his child to sports activities, scouts, playing on the playground at parks and camping. I dream of those days when I can have a child to read stories with, teach about gardening and getting involved in his or her school.
Being older parents in our late 30s and early 40s, I am certain that Jeff and I will come to our new roles in life with a lot of wisdom. We’ll also have a lot of patience. We both believe in letting a child be “free-range” to learn to make his or her own mistakes and become independent adults. Parents do need to watch their children and guide them. But as we watch our peers with their children, Jeff and I have noticed that we’re more laid back. Children can act up once in a while. That’s what kids do. Jeff and I feel the worst thing a child can do is be unkind and disrespectful. Children need to know they are loved and their parents have high expectations for them. Love and respect will be the highest values in our parenting, including love and respect for one’s own body.
I know this must be such an emotional time for you. We want your choice to be the best for all of us. Please know that whatever you choose, you have a team of supporters cheering you on.
Jeff and Melissa