Dear Expectant Mother,
I feel like I already know you. I know that sounds silly and new-agey, but it’s not entirely out there, mostly because I think about you a lot and what you have chosen to do. You’re already one of the most courageous and loving people I know. Even if we’ve never met.
You’re doing something remarkable, and I feel that we were supposed to do this together. I couldn’t possibly begin to understand what you are going through, but I hope you feel that there is someone, me, on the other side of this who is waiting for you and your baby. You have to understand that you are just as important to me as the baby. Your life and life story are what created your baby and I don’t take stories lightly. I am a writer and I believe that words and stories heal and lead the way. And here we are.
I have always wanted to adopt. I have never even tried to conceive. I always knew I could get pregnant, but if I do it with someone else, it has to be someone you really trust and who I feel could be a father and I never felt that I met that. Not because they were bad people. They were just not the right person. Rarely do people take the time to feel if they are a solid person and that’s the big tell. I have come to that place. So, I have purposely stayed single for a while to make room for a baby. I feel that You, Birth Mom, are a seriously solid person for making this choice for your baby.
I have had a lot of life to live before I could become a parent. I had to create a big life and lots of memories so I could create the foundation for having a child. And I have. Big life, big memories. But I don’t feel like creating any more adventures without a child to share them with.
I’m also very much a “mom” with my friends, which is sort of not cool. J I’m the one people call when they want advice or to know that “everything is going to be ok.” And I really enjoy that. I love giving back of what I have been given in this life. Giving back is how you keep it. I have mentored a lot of young girls and whatever advice you give is often the advice you need to hear yourself. I guess that’s how God works.
I have two big careers now, but I can do both of them, mostly from my desk. It’s really perfect for having a child, because I’m basically home all day.
Speaking of being at home. I love being in my home. I love decoration, redecorating, changing moving, making space, filling space. There is sooooo much to destroy J and I can’t wait for a baby to shake things up and give me a new “view.” I have a feeling that there will be “art” everywhere. I have even set up part of my home as an “art studio” where large canvas painting is seriously encouraged. Even by very small people.
Your child will travel a lot. Most of my family is in Denmark. Some in Dubai. I feel like I’m a global citizen and your child will be, as well. I’m sure he or she will be bi-lingual very quickly. I’m looking forward to traveling together. I heard flying with a baby is a lot of fun! J
I think you would want to know how I would discipline your child. I have left that for last, because “discipline” sounds so harsh. But a “discipline” is also something you can perform and get good at. So, before I would discipline, I would like to think I would have taught them that, first and foremost, the world is a safe place. Even if you make a mistake. In fact, you must make mistakes to learn anything. Your child will know that he or she is so wanted and therefore should treat and be treated with respect. I want them to know that if something is difficult, it’s safe to ask for help and judgment does not have a place in love.
So as you may be able to tell, I think of you a lot and you might be the most important person in my life right now.
Lots of Love,