Dear Expectant Mother,
We first want to say, thank you for considering adoption. Although we are unable to fully comprehend the decisions you’ll be making, know we have great admiration for you because you’re considering adoption and we are honored to be considered as a potential family for your child. Of all the things we want to share with you, the first is to affirm our unconditional love and steadfast commitment to you both. Your child’s best interest is the single priority we share and it will not change.
So, I’m Brandon (on the left?) and I’m Jacob (on the right?). We met in 2011 at a bar (we know, it’s the next classic Disney story ...) and were married here in Minneapolis in 2016. We both lived fairly Midwestern lives: suburban schools, college, and work thereafter. But with a lot of fun mixed in. Our lives have been defined by strong relationships with our families. Brandon’s parents retired to Arizona and we’re fortunate to see them three or four times a year. Jacob’s parents and brother’s family live outside Kansas City, which makes for more frequent trips but jam-packed family time when we arrive. It’s through those close, strong relationships that we knew our family would need to include more than the two of us.
It’s hard to describe ourselves on paper. Brandon would say we’re a little bit rock, a little bit flower and a whole lot of vocals. He’s joked since we got together that Jacob is the ‘rock’ in the relationship - steadfast, pensive, planner - and that he’s the ‘flower’ - passionate, adventurous, fun-loving. As accurate as those descriptions might be, one unique detail about us is our vocals. (Full disclosure - neither of us have had choral lessons.) There’s a lot of singing in our household! The evening sing-along to whatever is on the radio are great. And the Saturday morning ballads drowning out our off-key voices is embarrassingly fun. But those are just preparations for ‘family karaoke’ when we’re together with Brandon’s family. Prince might be the most famous signer from Minneapolis but you wouldn’t know that by how we own the karaoke mic when we’re all together.
As science wasn’t on our side … joke intended … we knew our parenting would involve others. That never changed our excitement at the thought of helping a child grow into the person they were meant to be. We can imagine no greater joy than helping your child discover their passion and then developing that passion as far as possible. We will spend the rest of our lives making sure they feel our love, and that they have ever opportunity available and a strong support system to weather all of life’s challenges. Life isn’t always easy, we know there will be tough times - we’ve each had them. It’s what we can provide during those times that will give your child an amazing future. We believe in being open and honest in a manner appropriate for their learning. To not shy-away from hard realities, but to instill a sense of empowerment that will carry through life. They will have four, always-doting, over-concerned grandparents; many cousins as life-long playmates; as well as aunts, uncles, friends and neighbors who will give them unwavering support from their earliest accomplishment to their biggest challenge.
There was an amazing find we noticed just after moving into our home. The inside door of the upstairs linen closet has markings measuring the heights of all of the children who have lived in the home before us… some dating back over 50 years. While some would say, “wow, that door hasn’t been painted or changed out in forever,” we find it to be a beautiful story providing a glimpse into the amazing history of all the fun childhood memories that must have been made here already. We have no plan on changing that door. Well, actually we do: we’re looking forward to adding your child’s marks to it!
Brandon & Jacob