Dear Expectant Mother,
Having the opportunity to be the parents of your child gives us joy and excitement. To start, we would like to thank you for considering us as parents. The road we are traveling to grow our family has been emotional and humbling. When we think about an expectant mom and the decisions she is facing, weighing all of the options for herself and her baby, we are overcome with an intense amount of inspiration and pride. She starts as a stranger in our world and then becomes one of the most valuable and important members of our little family circle. We try to live a life free of judgement and open to all feelings, in all situations. Choosing to place a child, or choosing not to, is not something either of us have had experience with. So, hear us out when we say that we support you, your decisions, and most importantly, your emotions. From the time we were married we knew that we wanted children. Adoption has given us the opportunity to be parents to Crosby, Winston and Monroe. We appreciate the time that you are taking to learn more about us.
We are Dan and Jamie. As a couple, we were married in 2011 on a sunny day in Mexico. From that day we wanted our own family. Due to unforeseen fertility issues, we found ourselves looking to adoption in order to fulfill our dream of being parents. Interactions with Dan’s nieces and nephews and Jamie’s nephews, and the many children we have taught, reinforced that we could not end our dream of being parents. This letter changes our outcome to one of hope and our worries to reassurance.
Dan loves to cook, and he is always creating new meals and tweaking recipes to make them just right. He is and has been a teacher for children with special needs for over 10 years. We are both Behavior Analysts and work with children with autism. Together we enjoy traveling, sports, and our families. Highlights of our travels include trips to Europe, Mexico, Washington, California, Florida, and trips to the Super Bowl in 2011 and the Kentucky Derby in 2013.
Crosby was born on March 26, 2014. We were chosen to be his adoptive parents on February 26 and the days we had to plan and prepare for him were quick and really proved to be a lesson in only focusing on the necessities. Crosby is now almost 6 and is a happy, healthy little boy. He can ride his bike without training wheels, loves baseball, and recently made a swim team. He loves the water and enjoys being outside. His favorite meal is chicken and noodles.
Winston was born on August 9, 2017. We were chosen to be his adoptive parents after he had arrived. The excitement in Crosby’s eyes was so sincere and joyful, but it quickly turned to sadness when he realized we couldn’t take “his broder home” that very night. Winston is sweet and calm. He enjoys playing with balls and singing songs. Winston loves to eat noodles, too. He also loves animals and calls them his “guys.” He takes one animal to bed with him every night.
Monroe was born on October 7, 2018. We were matched and chosen to be her parents on October 5, thinking we had about a month to prepare. Monroe is a watcher and she is always noticing what people are doing or where they are going. She is an early talker and speaks in 2-3 words sentences at just over a year old. She swims just like her brothers and is super calm and happy in the water.
With each adoption comes a new and at times, challenging relationship to form. Each birth mom that has chosen us to raise her baby has a different story; they come with a huge age range, and a varying number of children or pregnancies. That in itself provides us with opportunities for compassion and understanding. It challenges us to branch out, to break the mold, to truly listen in an attempt to develop and maintain a strong connection. As years go by, things do change. We have one relationship that is no longer available. We are unable to reach one birth mom. Messages are undeliverable. Phone calls are failed or blocked. But, we continue to strive for birth-mom directed communication and visits when possible with the others. Crosby calls birth moms “hospital moms.” This label for him is concrete and makes sense to him. Thankfully, it also provides a gateway to conversation about birth stories, birth families, and the immense love we have for each of their birth moms and birth dads.
We were both born in families that have instilled many of the beliefs we have today. Both our parents taught us that hard work and persistence do pay off. We have learned that we must set our goals high and work hard to achieve our dreams. Whether it was Jamie babysitting three-week-old twins at the age of 12 or Dan teaching youth sport classes during college, we both enjoyed watching children learn and grow. These are just two experiences in our lives that we hope to pass on to our children.
We live in a five-bedroom home in Colorado. We are close to many parks and walking trails. Many of the views from our home are of the beautiful Rocky Mountains. Nearby events include attending baseball games, football and basketball games, or trips to Denver to watch baseball or football. On several occasions we have family members that visit us and we will explore the beauty that Colorado has to offer.
Writing you this letter is not easy. There is so much to share about who we are and how excited we are to have the opportunity to grow our family. We value your time in making such a courageous choice for your baby. We do not want the end of this letter to be considered the end of the road for any of us involved, but rather the beginning of a meaningful and purposeful relationship that can be shared by all.
Dan, Jamie, Crosby, Winston, and Monroe